7 mins read⏳
Here are over 100+ funny chemistry jokes and puns that are guaranteed to make all of us laugh out loud.
Science-lovers will enjoy this big list of the best nerdy chemistry jokes just as much as a successfully executed chemistry experiment.
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1). How often should you tell a chemistry joke? Periodically.
2). Did you hear that oxygen proposed to magnesium? OMg!
3). Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting!
4). Lose an electron?
Gotta keep an ion it.
5). Gold is the best element because it's AU-some
6).I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically.
7). What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-o Acid.
8). Why can you never trust an atom?
They make up literally everything.
9). Want to hear a Potassium joke?
K!
10).Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK!
11). Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
12). My chemistry experiment exploded.
It's ok, oxidants happen
13). I wish I was adenine.
Then I could get paired with U.
14). What should do you do with a dead Chemist?
Barium!
15). What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.
16). Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar!
17). I think that angry flask completely overreacted.
18). What element derives from a Norse god?
Thorium.
19). Carbon and hydrogen went on a date.
I heard they really bonded
20). I can't remember that element but it's on the tip of my tungsten.
21). What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? CsI
22). The proton is not speaking to the other proton, he's mad atom.
23). What was Avogadro's favorite sport? Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.
24). What did silver say to gold at the bar? "Au, get outta here!"
25). Make like a proton and stay positive.
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26). If you're not part of the solution,you're part of the precipitate.
27). What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
Separation anxiety
28). What do you call a clown in jail?
A Silicon!
29). Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO!
30). What is a chemist's favorite holiday song?
Oh Chemist-TREE, oh Chemist-TREE!
31). If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed!
32). I think these jokes are sodium funny. In fact, I slapped my neon that one!
33). A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs.
"For you, no charge."
34). Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.
35). What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That's as-salt!
36). Salt made a pun joke and it was Sodium funny.
37) Why did the attacking army using acid? To neutralize the enemy's base!
38). What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
39). Q: What is the chemical formula for diarrhea?
A: (CO(NH2)2)2
40).Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates!
41). What do you call a nonsensical felon?
A silicon
42). What's a chemistry teacher's favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it's pretty basic stuff.
43). Chemists are so happy in the lab because they're in their element.
44). Titanium is an amorous metal. When it gets hot, it will combine with anything!
45). If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they'd be alloys.
46). What do the other elements say about hydrogen?
He's such a loner!
47). What is HIJKLMNO?
H2O!
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48). What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
49). What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
50).I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite
He said NaBrO.
51).What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe.
52).Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
53). The entire lab smelled like rotten eggs. Everyone was sulfering.
54). Lose an electron?
Gotta keep an ion it.
55).Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous walk into a bar.
"OH SNaP!" says the bartender.
56).What kind of weapon can you make out of Potassium, Nickel and Iron?
A KNiFe.
57). Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?
Because he got Avogadro's number!
58). We'd give you some more chemistry jokes but all the good ones argon.
59).What is the chemical formula for sea water?
CH2O!
60). Why do chemists love club music? They love when the base drops.
61). The name's bond. Ionic bond. Taken not shared.
62). Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak?
Because it's in the ground state!
63). What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na(Tuna)
64). I have many chemistry jokes but I’m afraid they won’t get a good reaction
65). What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I've got many degrees."
66). What do you call a purse filled with sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A SWAg bag.
67). What's the dullest element?
Bohrium!
68). Why are chemists great for solving problems?
Because they always have a solution!
69). What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution!
70). Why didn't the physics and biology teachers get along?
They had no chemistry.
71). Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends argon.
72). Organic chemistry is difficult.
People who study it have alkynes of trouble.
73). When fog evaporates, it is easily missed. (mist)
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74). Carbon and hydrogen went on a date.
I heard they really bonded.
75). If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
76). On his wedding anniversary, what did the chemist gift his wife?
A ring with a chunk of carbon because he thought with time and pressure, it would become a diamond!
77). Does anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na.
78). A sodium atom and a chlorine atom got into a skirmish.
Both were arrested for a salt.
79). Where do you put dirty dishes? The zinc.
80). When God created the earth, what mattered to him most?
Atom and Eve.
81). What do solids, liquids, and gases have in common?
They all matter.
82). Why are the noble gasses so lonely? Because they're most stable alone.
83). What did one titration say to the other? “Let’s meet at the endpoint.”
84). Would you like to be my lab partner? I can tell there will be a lot of chemistry between us.
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85). According to the Second Law of Thermodynamics, you are supposed to share your hotness with me.
86). Are you full of Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium, because you are Be-Au-Ti-Ful
87). Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because your cute
88). Are you a non volatile particle? Because you raise my boiling point.
89). Are you made of copper?
Cause I Cu in a relationship with me.
90). Babe you must be a neuron, because you got some action potential
91). Baby you give my electrons a positive charge
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92). Are you made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon? 'Cause you are F-I-Ne.
93). Are you on the periodic table? 'Cause you are SODIUM fine
94). Billions of neutrinos penetrate you every second, Mind if I join in?
95).I wish your name was Avogadro, because then I would already know your number.
96). Forget hydrogen you're my number one element
97). hey can I put my Bunsen In your air-hole?
98). Hi does your body consist of Oxygen and Neon?
Because you are the ONe.
99). Hey girl, did we just share electrons? Because I'm feeling a covalent bond between us.
100). You're so hot, you must be the cause for global warming.
101). When I'm near you I undergo anaerobic respiration because baby, you take my breath away
102). You must be calcium bicarbonate, because if you let me get you wet, then the reaction will be explosive
103). Scientists have recently discovered a rare new element called Beautium. It looks like you are made of it.
104). You're like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!
105). Chemical students do it on the table periodically
106). Even if there was no gravity left on earth I'd still fall for you.
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